Since my blog is about life, and this week was a reality check in that department, I have decided to dedicate this entry to writing about just that. However, in an attempt to prevent you all from slipping into a deep depression, I will write a "part II", and that one will be about couponing... something I did once or twice this week to get my mind off things.
We all knew it was inevitable. My mom fought unlike anyone for much longer than doctors believed she could. In July of 2009, doctors told her she had a very aggressive form of Appendix cancer and there wasn't much they could do. Despite being told she had about three months to get her affairs in order, my mom researched, found doctors, and endured countless surgeries. She prayed, fought, and made promises to my sister and I that she would be at our weddings; promises that she kept. As the priest at our church put it "Barb lived until the day she died".
While my family knew how sick mom was, I think everyone started to believe that she was untouchable. No matter what happened, mom would pull through. That being said, I still spent countless moments over the past few years a puddly little mess, crying about all the things my mom would miss in my life, and my sisters lives. My mom would never get to meet my children, she wouldn't get to see my little sister go to high school, prom, college, and wouldn't get to see her get married and become a mother of her own. I will spare you all the thoughts I have had about the things my mom and dad had planned that he is left to do alone.
You know, I was thinking about your mom (I am a PMP Caregiver; my husband has Appendix/PMP) so I went to her facebook page (as she was my "friend"). I know the misery she went through and it broke my heart.
ReplyDeleteThe pictures of your wedding and your mom being so happy to be there, made me smile and I was so happy for her because there is nothing like seeing your daughter married - I know, we've got 3 daughters.
The best way to honor your mom is to be a mom just like her (and I can already see that's the case) ... the circle of life continues with that tradition and your daughter(s) will follow suit.
I don't know how I missed this on her page (on my youngest daughter's 29th birthday), but wow! She sure did give you strength and I am overwhelmed right now with your post ... "She was seeing everything from her new home, and was helping me get through the day". Keep that faith and your sorrow will turn to comfort as time passes.
God Bless you Amanda, I hope you and your family (siblings and especially your dad) have survived the holidays and know that my prayers continue for all Appendix/PMP families, who currently struggle, have struggled and lost their struggle.